Tips for snaring the slappers in the lounge

Look, I'm a top bloke, love a good shag and a beer, (*~(belch)~*) and apart from a minor prostate problem which requires daily milking by an under-aged Asian mistress, I don't seem to be having much luck with the dinky di Auzzie babes over on yahoos coffee lounge, except for the usual run of the mill tramps, but then again, everyone gets to ride them, even Brock...so I was just wondering if anyone had some handy tips for snaring the less practised woman over on those boards, the ones who don't demand a fee to take them out for dinner and a cab ride home to the truck stop.

Are there any left?

Stuff a piece of original recipe kfc in your jox and up your crack-hole and you'll have Lisa going at you like a customs official doing a cavity search at an airport terminal.


For roo or kez just promise a years supply of home brew, ...but no matter what, don't talk about food as alcoholics don't have much of an appetite at the best of times, so foods off the menu. ..unless you want chunks in your pubes.

If liladette/loocy is your thing, wear a wedding band and tell them you have money, a pregnant wife and a few kids .
Just make sure you put pics of your 'alleged' wife ,kids and houseboat in your wallet, or around your hotel room...as she wont fuck you until she sees them.



Dont forget to tell all of them where you live and work, *wink* it's a real cougar-magnet, and male advantage on Yahoos boards.


Good luck it's worked for quite a few of us over on yahoo.

Just remember to kerosene your pubes afterwards this and keep an eye out for violent eruptions on your gentlemen's parts afterwards.

Tick, Nina seems to be a sure thing mate.

Oh yes, and if you want nina the needy just pander to her multiple personalities suicidal tendencies in between manic episodes of fooling around with her hubby online, this and convincingly appear to be interested in her talking gibberish about herself all day long. If you pay close attention to her train crash journeys of the psych stoner thread over on general discussions she will flash her saggy lactating tits at you via webcam.
So long as you play ignorant to the fact that you realise she is a plagiarising swinging Illawarra whore who with her bogan unemployed hubby cultivates single men and woman online (recreational fishing apparently) ...you are home and hosed.

Mind the fishy after-taste, that's not anchovies on her breath!


Good luck

Nina is nauseating.She has tick eating out of her hand though, the dirty old man is never too far behind when Nina posts.She reads like a bitch on heat half the time.

Nina, we get it OK. You are a complete nymphomaniac and you love sex. We GET IT, change the record already.

Every forum needs it's whore, it's just that Yahoo is enduring some sort of plague at present.

For kez dial 1300 334 117 1

For jens dial 1300 334 117 2

For roo dial 1300 334 117 3

For lilady dial 1300 334 117 4

For Lisa dial 1300 334 117 5

For Nina dial 1300 334 117 6


....and have your credit card details handy..

My heater just turned on.

Stay tuned for more comedy, this and interesting facts relevant to my position as "house elf" on Yahoos coffee lounge.


I am a very funny person.

Important life altering update


My heater just turned off

So many of my guest ID's in one thread.

I'm so funny, aren't I? *belch* *fart* *snort*.

I am the biggest slapper in NSW and possibly the whole of Australia.

Sorry.

lubs, Mellie. xox.

Almost PM, beer'o'clock.


...Just because my personality changes when I start boozing on with dregs on Yahoo doesn't mean I have a problem with alcohol..

I would just like to apologize to all the good Yahoo ladies who have been libeled in this thread.

I am sorry. Please don't sue me.

I was only kidding. I really can't help myself sometimes.

I am a stupid, insensitive bitch.

I will try harder to become a normal, decent person. I promise.

lubs, Mellie. xox.

Thats ok darlz, I got me 6 clients tonight coz of your thread here...fanx for that ay!!!


Looks like I will be gettin me that case of VB tonight afterall....so no metho for me again tonight, no sir re....


Fanx heaps, ay melli

Does anyone have the phone number for a good solicitor?

I'm going to need one soon.

The taxpayers will foot the bill, of course.

lubs, Mellie. xox.

Why do you keep threatening people with legal action, when you cant even afford a real lawyer to defend yourself against others legal proceedings...


Tool!


I'm still waiting for the court papers you promised to send me last time...has been about 4 years now if I recall, and i'm still waiting for my MCL court hearing....and my Yahoo hearing also, what now?

And what for this time?

Defamation of one of your multiple personalities Carl?

Which of your personalities have I offended this time?

Is it a girl personality or a boy personality today...sorry, I just have a little trouble keeping up with them all....there are just so many.