Dinner Parties

I have these friends that invited me and my wife around for dinner. I thought that would be nice.
When I get there I find there is another couple there I don't even know. Immediately my relaxed feeling
subsided and I went into professional mode destroying the whole relaxed part of the occasion. Do you know
what I mean ?

That sort of thing annoys me so much. I would have rather known they were inviting someone else before
I went so at least I could get it straight in my mind. I hate it when people do that. I am an outgoing
person but having dinner with friends should be just that and not put on the spot.

I loath it. Anyway again they asked us around to have dinner and sure enough someone I didn't know was invited. I hate this stuff.

Anyone else find that annoying ?

Well, it depends on whether they advise on the invitation that it's a dinner party, this or verbally let you know this either via email or phone.


If my friends (a couple) invited me to dinner, and I got there and realised there were more people there than I thought there would, being a bit of a social butterfly, I wouldn't really worry about it... would just think their notifying me must have slipped their mind, so I would make the best of a surprise situation and get on with the evening.

"Immediately my relaxed feeling
subsided and I went into professional mode destroying the whole relaxed part of the occasion. Do you know
what I mean ?"

Dave, I know what you mean , but depending on how well you knew the couple who invited you to dinner to begin with, and presuming you know them fairly well, I wouldn't be letting one minor misdemeanour ruin my outlook re- enjoying a night out with good company and friends thats for sure.
Perhaps it was a last minute thing, the couple in question being in town, this and were invited at the last minute and the host forgot to notify you?

In a friendly and informal 'relaxed' situation, I don't think this would bother me, I would be inclined to get over it and just enjoy the rest of the evening, surprise guests aside.

I like surprises though

However, if you are an image/socially conscious person, this and or are a little anxious about meeting new people, I can understand why this may have been a bit awkward for you.

Out of curiosity, how did your partner feel about the situation?

She didn't care but I am more comfortable with people I know these days.
Would rather not go throught the rig morole of small talk at a dinner at a friends house.
Plus I am an bit of an introvert but pulled the night of cracking jokes to hide the fact.

She didn't care but I am more comfortable with people I know these days.
Would rather not go throught the rig morole of small talk at a dinner at a friends house.
Plus I am an bit of an introvert but pulled the night of cracking jokes to hide the fact.

Whoops delete my last post please.

Basically, I think it depends on a few factors...

- The nature of the dinner party itself, formal/informal etc
- The atmosphere itself ... ie If these other guests were quiet and awkward themselves this and equally put out or taken by surprise then this would be a bit of a downer, and rude on your hosts behalf, as it's their job to make thing as relaxed and comfortable as possible.


Atmosphere and how well you know the couple who invited you to the dinner party has a lot to do with it I think.

Myself, I always advise my guests if others are coming, (so they can mentally prime up for the occasion)... as I think this is the polite thing to do...though I wouldn't hold a relative minor thing like this against my friends, if it genuinely slipped their mind, and was a last minute thing.

****Plus I am an bit of an introvert but pulled the night of cracking jokes to hide the fact.****


Well, it sounds like you made the best of an awkward situation, well done.

Dave wrote:

I have these friends that invited me and my wife around for dinner. I thought that would be nice.
When I get there I find there is another couple there I don't even know. Immediately my relaxed feeling
subsided and I went into professional mode destroying the whole relaxed part of the occasion. Do you know
what I mean ?

That sort of thing annoys me so much. I would have rather known they were inviting someone else before
I went so at least I could get it straight in my mind. I hate it when people do that. I am an outgoing
person but having dinner with friends should be just that and not put on the spot.

I loath it. Anyway again they asked us around to have dinner and sure enough someone I didn't know was invited. I hate this stuff.

Anyone else find that annoying ?

Yes me definitely Dave.